How I Find the Courage to Keep Jumping (Even Though the Net Never Catches Me)

“The future never comes. Life is always now.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“Jump, and the net will catch you.” “Leap, and the net will appear.”

This article is intended to argue the following: There is no net.

Please bear with me while I rattle off all the jumps I’ve made (but never the net).

1. My well-paid job as a marketer was terminated and I traveled the globe to find a dream humanitarian job. I didn’t get the job interview so was left jobless in foreign countries.
2. A few months after launching my online store selling organic products, I received a diagnosis of blood cancer.
3. To heal my cancer, I decided to get involved in the wellness business. Unfortunately, nothing worked and I found myself on the very medication that I wanted to avoid.
4. I have been putting my heart and soul into this memoir but received only nice rejections by the publishing industry.

Okay, I’m glad that is off my chest.

Point number 4, my current life situation, has got me thinking about “the net.”

My memoir writing experience was different from points 1, 2, and 3. Writing was a process that was free from any expectations. The writing process was one in which I just sat down to express the feelings, longings, desires and realizations within me. The result of four years spent writing in that space was a book. I didn’t even think of creating a network. It was all I could do to just write.

It was later that the net appeared.

After I finished writing my memoir, people suggested that the net be created.

When I began researching publishing and learning about the best practices and what not to do, the net was born.

I began my research to develop a perception. The perception became a belief. A belief that said: to be signed by a literary agent and traditional publisher means you “have made it.” You are literary success. Every industry podcast and blog that I read grew this belief. As I listened to more industry blogs and podcasts, the ropes of my belief became thicker and more intertwined until they formed what I saw as a net. One of the five top publishers offered a book deal.

My mind whirled and looped with the following thought: If I’m brave enough to share my story, if I jump, the net will catch me, I will get a book deal.

This thought was something I held in my mind. That thought made me brave. I did it. I jumped.

However, even as I write this, I’m not yet caught by any type of net.

My ego looks back up at points 1 to 4 and screams, “FAILURE! My net is never caught on me. Stay small!”

You can easily get lost in the stream of thoughts. It is familiar. It is almost a place of comfort. The ego blankets me with perceived safety—safety in the form of remaining small and quiet.

Then I realize that there’s another side to me. It is a place that transcends the self and even thoughts. It is my core. My essence. My essence is the most genuine and authentic me. It is when silence becomes a part of my life that I can remember it. It is possible to bring awareness into the now without focusing on the past, or projecting into it. The thought of a net disappears when I do this.

The net is a futuristic concept that I can see from this point. It was nothing but a dream about something wonderful that would occur in a distant future. It was a concept about success: saving the planet, building a business and healing an incurable illness. Now, it is a best-seller book.

Freedom was beyond all the ideas of how life should look. Every day I return to this place. It’s easy to get pulled in by my ego. I get pulled back. It is a feeling of being pulled in my thoughts. I am able to recall.

It is clear to know what I should do when my true nature matches the current moment.

Sometimes my children just want to be active. Some days, it is a call to pitch a book to a literary agent. I feel like surrendering to everything that is before me. When I’m flowing with life, there is no net. The net, more than a result, is a trust in the future that all will work out as planned.

My book is not yet published. My only certainty is that my soul can live its true purpose if it keeps returning to the present.

There’s no net. Only small steps can be taken to awaken. Others are simple. Others ask for us to feel excruciatingly vulnerable. The latter can be like taking a leap into the unknown. These moments are no longer a leap for me.

Retrospectively, I realize that it was only one step. It was a single stride down the path to me. That is what has helped me feel complete, one step at a time, every vulnerable inch and conscious moment. All is well, even with rejection letters.

Participate in the discussion! To leave a comment, click here

Tiny Buddha published the post How I find the Courage To Keep Jumping (Even though the Net Never Catches me) first.